Taking another look . . . at matters of faith.

Looking for the new blog site?

2009-04-30T19:13:00.012-04:00

If you came to this site looking for information on the new book,

The Pharisee within Me:
My Journey from Legalism to Grace,

then click here:

http://phariseeinme.blogspot.com/

To return to the author's website, click here:

www.waynehobbes.com

Are you disillusioned with church?

2008-03-31T13:20:00.002-04:00

If you have ever been hurt or “turned off” to church by…

Hypocrisy
Double standards
Meticulous rules
Majoring on spiritual trivia
Judgmentalism & pride
Irrelevance
Superficiality
Pat answers
Gossip and other “acceptable sins” in the church
Lots of spiritual busyness but little substance
Focus on foreign missions but not helping needy people in their own community.

But let’s leave the people and churches unnamed (or use fictitious names if necessary, and no denominational names), and let’s leave our most colorful language at home, if you get my drift. Thanks for your help in this project!

To prime the pump, I’ll share a few stories that others have shared with me (all true, names changed of course):

“There’s so much pressure in our church to keep up the life they expect. It’s like a treadmill, and I’m getting tired of it… I feel like giving up.” — Shelly R.

“I went to that church until I was out of high school. I finally left because I was tired of all the gossip and backstabbing I saw there. Those people didn’t act like they cared about me—or like they cared about each other, for that matter.” —Tom D.

“I had some serious questions, and my church wasn’t able to give me intelligent answers. I don’t think they really took me seriously… I was disillusioned. I left and I’m never going back.” — Amy B.

“I can get along with God just fine. It’s all his little fan clubs I can’t stand.” — Anonymous

Share your comments here! (Just leave your name anonymous, or use a fictitious name here).

Are you disappointed with Christians?

2008-03-15T11:55:00.000-04:00

This thought-provoking quote says it so well:

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." — Mahatma Gandhi

If you have ever been hurt or “turned off” to Christianity by a Christian’s behavior or attitudes, such as:

Hypocrisy
Meticulous rules
Judging & pride
Holier-than-thou attitudes
Irrelevance
Superficiality
Gossip and other vices while professing to be spiritual
Cheating or dishonesty (in business or personally)
Greed
Unkindness

…then share your story here!

This is a forum where it is safe to share your experiences and concerns, and find understanding and support. Here we can affirm you, as well as learn from your experiences. This also helps me to demonstrate (for those who care) some of the things people actually experience at the hands of churches and church leaders.

Just, leave the people and churches unnamed (or use fictitious names if necessary), and let’s leave our most colorful language at home, if you get my drift. Thanks for your help in this project!

To prime the pump, I’ll share a few stories that others have shared with me:

“I was cheated in a business deal by someone who tells everyone he’s a Christian. He even tries to preach at me! He can keep his Christianity.”
— Donna C.

“I have known a lot of Christians that were good people to deal with, and some that were pretty bad. And the same goes for people that don't go to church. I really haven't seen any difference.” — David M.

“I feel like all they want to do is preach at me. It’s like I’m not a person. There’s no relationship there.” — John A.

Share your comments here!

For hurting pastors and spouses

2008-03-15T11:47:00.000-04:00

Sometimes church ministry can be exciting and challenging, and there are many websites to spur you on in that regard. But ministry can also be really draining, and even devastating sometimes (I understand, because I spent twenty years pastoring local churches).

Ministry can take its toll in many ways:

People’s unrealistic expectations.
Board Members’ unrealistic expectations—and some with personal agendas.
Organizational resistance to positive change.
People’s hardness of heart.
Manipulative people, church politics, and power plays.
Board members or others who lie to you (especially in the hiring process).
Staffing problems.
Marital stress—often takes on additional pressures for pastors and wives.
Family stress—often pulled away from your kids during prime family hours, like evenings and weekends. And seeing your kids hurt by church members just takes it over the top!
Physical exhaustion—heavy schedule, “We’ll GIVE you one day off a week, pastor!” and the unending “to do” list, often too few people available for delegating.
Financial strain, limited resources, meager retirement, some churches unwilling to take responsibility for all your ministry expenses.
Too little time off.
Counseling headaches and heartaches.
Spiritual warfare.
The care of the churches (2 Corinthians 11:28—and look at the context!)

Often the difficulties pastors experience place a deep strain on their own marriage and parenting relationships. And very few jobs have both the employee and spouse feeling so constantly pressured to measure up to so many unwritten expectations. You never know when you are disappointing someone’s perception of what a pastor should be doing (or of how it should be done). And some church boards even expect you to make everyone happy!

And you who are wives of pastors: words cannot express the stress and strain and pressure you feel. I am told that someone researched occupational stress and concluded that the two most stressful occupations in the country are (1) air traffic controllers and (2) pastor’s wives! Need I say more?

The pressures and pains of ministry can be crushing (hand me another tissue!) Yes, of course I believe there is solace to be found, or I wouldn’t be here. But the path to get there includes sharing your burdens with someone who will listen. You have found such a place here at Taking Another Look.

If you are a pastor or the spouse of a pastor, you can safely share your stories here. Of course, use fictitious names (if you need to use any), and don’t name the church or give away your location. Click on “comment” below and sign in to Google (they will respect your privacy) and type away. Or you can email me confidentially through my web site: www.waynehobbes.com/contact (I will reply personally and no one else will ever receive your email address from me).

Share you comments and stories here!

For all PK’s (Pastor’s Kids)

2008-03-15T11:45:00.000-04:00

PK's. You have seen churches at their worst—and pastors (and spouses) at their worst. You can vent here.

You have seen your parents stressed after a board meeting or church business meeting, or preoccupied beforehand. You’ve known about those long talks your parents have late into the night sometimes, or the arguments. You’ve heard comments from church members about your dad or mom as well. Or just those aggravating comments like, “Well, Jen will know the answer to that question, because her dad is the pastor! So tell us the answer, Jen.”

Maybe you have seen your parents trying to bring about positive change in the church, and you have prayed for them and cheered them on. But some people in the church who disagree and oppose them just can’t help making snide remarks to you, like it’s your fault! And they’re supposed to be like Jesus!

Maybe you’ve been really active in serving in the church, and then gone through the shock and pain of rejection as some of the church people reject your parents’ leadership.

Pretty disillusioning, huh?

You can add your comments below (just sign in to Google; they’ll respect your privacy). Share your stories of disappointment, disillusionment, pain, and victory as well. Share where you are now, spiritually. Are you now a spiritual outsider, following God but distant from church? Or are you active in a church now (and if so, how is it different, or how did you learn to endure)? Or, have you totally given up on God (if so, I won’t be your critic, I promise! I want to hear your story and be a friend.)

Your thoughts? (Let’s keep names out, or use fictitious names, and leave our most colorful language at home, if you get my drift).

Share your comments here!

Check out my website

2008-03-15T11:42:00.000-04:00

My website will be revised in the near future (to be more interactive and more helpful), so be sure to check back again:

www.waynehobbes.com

E-mail Wayne Hobbes

2008-03-15T11:40:00.001-04:00

Send your email to:

info@waynehobbes.com

(You will receive a personal reply, and no one else will ever get your email address from me).

How we slip into Phariseeism

2008-02-28T13:57:00.000-05:00

Most Christians simply ignore the Pharisees in the New Testament. I know I did for many years. Whenever I was reading those numerous passages where Jesus confronted the Pharisees, I just figured I’m not like them, so I’d read on. But eventually I began to notice that, whenever Jesus was confronting them, he was challenging me as well. He was confronting the Pharisee in me! Wow, that felt uncomfortable!

As I began to see more pharisaic tendencies in my own life, I felt I needed to study them more closely. And what I discovered amazed me. Did you know that most of the Pharisees in Jesus’ time were passionate about following God faithfully? That’s unnerving for Christians who care about serving Christ! But if we trace their history, they actually descended from a great revival just a few generations earlier, right after the Jewish exiles returned from Babylon.

There is not enough space here to tell of their incredible commitment, zeal, courage, and even martyrdom. That revival was simply amazing. But how did they move from a revival four centuries before Christ, to being hypocritical, judgmental, self-righteous Pharisees by the time of Christ? And how can you and I avoid the same downhill slide?

Their error was simple, but slippery. They reasoned like this:

If we don’t want to disobey God again like our forefathers did (we know that’s why they went into captivity in Babylon), then we need to be really, really careful to follow God’s commands. In fact, we don’t even want to come close to disobeying! So, let’s “build a fence” of extra rules to keep us further from the edge of disobedience. Let’s be extra cautious!

And so, they began adding extra, man-made rules to God’s commands. They called it putting a “hedge” around the Torah (God’s law). If we love God and want to obey him, then why not be extra cautious? Sounds reasonable enough. So that’s what they did.

For example, take the Sabbath commandment. God set up the Sabbath as a day for his people to enjoy. But the Pharisees missed the point of it, focused instead on the rule, and then began adding extra precautions. If you shouldn’t work, then you shouldn’t harvest your fields. So don’t even harvest a little bit. So one Sabbath day, Jesus and his disciples picked a few heads of grain for lunch, and the Pharisees jumped all over them for it. Jesus rebuked them; their man-made rule was simply wrong (Matthew 12:1-13).

Later Jesus challenged the Pharisees for all their man-made rules in general, because it always led them off the point of what God intended. He said, “Why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?” (Matthew 15:3, NIV) It’s as if we’re afraid God’s commands aren’t quite enough, and so we have to add more in order to improve on what God has done, so that our spiritual life will be stronger. Do we see how ridiculous that thinking is?

Yet many of us Christians make the same mistake. We start adding just a few rules, or a favorite doctrinal idea, well thought out (of course) and with good intentions. But then we begin paying more attention to our rules than the ones God has given (yes, I did this too). We begin forming opinions about other Christians and churches and groups on the basis of our favorite man-made rules and ideas that we have added on top of God’s Word. And pretty soon, we start thinking we are more spiritual or more faithful to God than others who don’t fit our ideas or rules. We are faithful and so they must be compromising! And then—look in the mirror—I have become self-righteous, proud, and judgmental. There is some Pharisee in me!

So that is where the Pharisees first began turning away from God and his Word ever so slightly, and it opened the door to many other errors.

More on this in future blogs!

Meanwhile, you can check out other topics on the right side of your screen here, and post your own comments below (to post comments, just sign in to Google—there is no cost and they will never give out your email address without your permission).

Here are a couple questions to get you thinking:

How have you been “turned off” or hurt by hypocrisy, judgmentalism, or self-righteous pride among Christians and churches?

What experiences have you had in encountering Phariseeism in the church, in others, or in yourself?

What experiences have you had with those who add man-made rules to what God has given us?

A Pharisee in Me! (and other topics forthcoming)

2008-02-10T23:42:00.001-05:00

I was really surprised, some years back, to discover that I was like the Pharisees in some ways. I was a pastor at the time, and very committed to my Christian faith (I still am, but I dropped the pat answers and some of my other baggage along the way). So I was shocked to find that I might be like those guys! After all, the Pharisees were the notorious bad guys of the New Testament. Every time you turn around, Jesus was confronting them on one thing or another. They were guilty of hypocrisy, judgmentalism, and self-righteous pride. But did you know:

(1) The Pharisees were guilty of at least a dozen other, more subtle errors that I've pinpointed so far, and that are common among Christians today (in all denominations). I know, because I've fallen into most of them myself at one time or another!

(2) Most of the Pharisees were passionate about following God faithfully, and they thought they were serving him well. In fact, they developed out of a great revival movement a few centuries before Christ. How did they go so far downhill in just a few generations? And how can we avoid taking the same trip?

I am currently finishing up a book on this subject, for which I hope to find a publisher soon. Meanwhile, I will post some of my findings here over the next few weeks and months.

We'll cover some other topics that interest me too (and of course, whatever topics it triggers in your minds along the way, too). For example, I am intrigued with the "tough questions of faith," like:

How do we handle what appear to be discrepancies in the Bible? And can we really trust the Bible?
How do we reconcile the differences between what the Bible teaches and the deep-seated values of our culture?
How do we understand the Bible and Christian theology in the light of the developments in thought from modernism to postmodernism?
How do we worship God today in fresh and meaningful ways while also having a sense of continuity with the past (yet without just copying tradition)?
How can we reconcile some of the differences between Roman Catholicism and Protestant beliefs?
A special focus on support for those (spiritual outsiders, members, and even pastors) who have been hurt by churches. Help given here from one formerly hurting pastor!
And in another vein, what about death and dying, and other items of interest in hospice (since I am also a hospice chaplain). Hospice, where we take another look at what matters most in the last chapter of our earthly life!

For these and other topics, stay tuned. And give me your feedback! Let's make this a dialogue. And until I get more topics posted, you can learn more by checking out my web site at http://www.waynehobbes.com/. I will soon be revising the web site and making it more user friendly (right now it's sort of a resume website for publishers) over the next few weeks. So stay tuned for that update, and you can also find a contact email address for me there.

Until then, let's be
Taking Another Look at Matters of Faith!

Always thinking,
Wayne Hobbes
Pittsburgh, Pa.

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